Dream Alone

I had an unusually vivid dream last night.

Normally I don’t remember my dreams. I know there are sleep studies that indicate everyone dreams, even if we don’t remember them.

Some time ago I decided that when I remember my dreams I should probably pay attention to them. Some people tell me my dreams have more to do with wine and bratwursts than my unconscious trying to tell me anything. That may be.

In my dream last night I was with a small group of people in some sort of park or wilderness. These people were friends or acquaintances of mine. That is, the Mark in the dream. The Mark who was dreaming did not recognize any of them. Indeed, there was only one of them whose face came into focus or left any lasting impression: a young, slender brunette with long hair.

Her name was Amy.

It was springtime. The weather was cool enough for long pants and light jackets.

The group which Amy & I were a part of was operating out of some kind of cabin, venturing outside to hike in the open fields.

There was some sort of flirtation between us—enough that our companions were teasing us about being a couple—but I was holding back, unwilling to risk taking it beyond flirting. That’s not my strong suit. Once bitten, twice shy.

I woke up just as “Amy” was commenting that people were insinuating she and I were practically married.

As much as I might like this to be about some actual human love interest … I think that’s unlikely.

As much as I know about it I subscribe to a Jungian theory of dream analysis, where the characters in one’s dream are aspects of one’s own personality.

My immediate feeling was that “Amy” represents my anima: the nurturing, creative aspect of me. Springtime is a season of new growth, new birth, new ideas—when life comes back to the dead, barren earth.

That idea didn’t dissuade me from recognizing that A-M-Y is an anagram for May. A spring month. And the whole ritual around May Day could be a fertile tangent, here. Of course, it is also an anagram for “yam” … though that association doesn’t lead me anywhere.

I also noticed that numerically A-M-Y adds up to 3. (1+13+25=39, 3+9=12, 1+2=3.) I don’t know enough about Gematria to explore that any further.

So the dream appears to be encouraging me to make deeper contact with my creative side, while indicating that I seem unwilling to take the risk of commitment which that demands.

In other words: telling me what I already know.

About Mark Matzeder

By education a filmmaker, by trade an electrician, by avocation a writer and sometime scholar. Occasionally I wring an essay out of some observation I have made or experience I've had and share them here. Sometimes I'll share short fiction. Sometimes a poem. But mostly it's just my spin on this strange trip.
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